Written by Quincy Iwediokpulu
©kycee’stales.com
{I lay no claims to being more knowledgeable than anyone, yet these are just my own thoughts and understanding which can be freely criticized and debated on -please feel free to if you disagree. However I do believe I know better than I knew yesterday and many years before. The sincere purpose thus, is to reach and bless someone out there. Knowledge isn’t power unless it is shared. Enjoy!”}
It has come to my notice that Honesty when it comes to dealing with people is a vast concept that no two persons can really grasp. People unfortunately choose to believe whatever they want to believe like Aunty Nkiru..She has chosen to believe that Onyedikachi and I are dating when in fact that isn’t the case. How you say it or do not say it doesn’t truly matter because in most cases, they usually just take out what they want to hear and add it to what it is they think they already know ….and voila….their opinion. It’s like telling your friends that you spent the weekend at your boyfriend/girlfriend’s place and nothing happened.
*see this one…na who wan believe that kin yeye talk?* Their minds would read even though they never put their voices to it. Why?, You may ask…probably because they’ve picked out what they wanted to hear from what you have just said and then added it to their already established notion that no two persons in love can keep each other’s hands away from each other. "haba! For this generation", that one na bloody lie jor-" (their minds would wonder) and conclude almost instantly that it is impossible even though somewhere in their minds-the tiniest of all layers- that it isn’t exactly impossible.
Reminds me of my ex who had to lie to his friends that we were intimate when we weren’t.
“Eh they would never have believed me na” He said in his defense when I confronted him.
“Really? And you had to tell them that we are, because?” I asked truly confused
“Who would believe that I have such a beautiful girlfriend like you and we don’t have sex?” He continued still trying to save his face
“I don’t get why you even had to tell them anything in the first place and then lie about it” I continued angrily.
The oxford dictionary defined honesty as being truthfully but it didn’t say in what gravity or in what consistency. Should one be honest at all times? Should it be regularly or occasionally? I remember also, back in school, I dated this amazing dude. Before we became lovers, I was terribly good at telling him everything because he was my best friend. There was nothing I kept from him. What however I didn’t realize is that when the lover’s bridge is crossed…Menh no be everything you supposed tell your spouse o. My boyfriend then would want to know how many men ‘tracked” me on a particular day and me now, with all sincerity and love in my heart would carry my big mouth and tell him. Boyfriend would listen attentively as if he was really digging the gist not knowing that after our conversation, before Le boo would sleep, he would put my conversation on replay in his mind and begin to worry. It got so bad that his mother had to call my phone to warn me to stop being honest with her son.
“You want my son to die prematurely, eh Quincy” her voice rang loudly in the phone and I swallowed hard.
“But mummy, I…” I tried to protest
“You what? Abeg don’t give my son hypertension for me.” She continued angrily
‘These days, he rarely sleeps or eats just because you are in school and men would not let you see road. Don’t you know you mustn’t tell him everything?” She asked
“But he asked me Mummy” I retorted in defense
“So you don’t know how to ignore questions or change subject or even lie abi?” She asked furiously
“Okay Mummy I have heard, I would stop telling him things like that” I answered apologetically.
‘Good” she replied and then dropped the call.
Even though I knew in my guts that his mother’s advice was dangerous, I definitely didn’t want my boyfriend to have high B.P na and so I began to keep things to myself but shortly afterwards, the relationship ended. Le boo realized that I was no more an open book and wouldn’t have it.
There are others who think not to tell at all means eh at least you didn’t lie-Negligence to mention” as I like to call it. If you don’t mind, let me take you back to the scripture, where Jesus said that “if you look lustfully at a woman, you have already sinned” Eh He didn’t wait for you to perform the thought physically before he counted it as a sin just the way in court a culprit can be sentenced to jail just at the thought of murdering someone…As long as the intent isn’t just and forward…it is what it is. I personally don’t think being honest has anything to do with anyone...Being honest is more about you than anyone else- the peace of mind- it may not produce the effect one may expect but it does leave you with a clear conscience. It makes you reliable and trustworthy.
I would tell my friends “See, I have no reason whatsoever to lie to anyone basically because I don’t see the point of doing so….The person no go come beat me na, abi the person go come fight me?” and they would laugh and shake their heads and tell me that in this generation, No body truly want to hear the truth especially the women…They are content with the lies and I wonder why?
Are we women really that gullible? Do we prefer what we hear to what we see? Is it true that we love lies? They also went as far as to say…Fine, men do lie regularly but when a woman lies…it’s like “Boom!. The tenacity is enough to make a man jump off the bridge. Is this true? Are we really incapable of telling the truth?
People say honesty and dignity have no value any more, it’s much easier to lie than tell the truth after all, and none of them pays in the end. Like in the series movie-Game of thrones- Lord Stark lost his head for being honest and trusting. His dignity didn’t buy him another day…So should we continue in our dishonesty because it is what is the order of the day? Should we lie because truth never buys us anything? And that the people that we are being honest with are incapable of truths themselves?
I truly would love to know…Please, what are your thoughts?
Click HERE for the last time on Sincerely Q.
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