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SINCERELY Q: LAZY DATERS


I sincerely lay no claims to being more knowledgeable than anyone, for these are merely my perceptions about life and they are opened to debate and criticisms -please feel free to anytime. However I do believe I know better than I knew yesterday and many years before. The sincere purpose thus, is to be able to share my own thoughts and conceptions with the world in hopes that I would be able to bless and inspire someone out there and the world would be able to do the same for me; for knowledge is tyrannical unless it is shared. Enjoy!”

So I’m sitting jejely on my bed and idly going through my phone gallery to decide which photo I want to use as a display picture on BBM. All through the day, I have changed my display picture like seven times already. I’m usually never satisfied leaving one photo on display all day except of course it’s a friend’s birthday and I just have to give them that day(still, even before the end of the day, my body starts  itching me to change it)…don’t ask me why…I just don’t know. I guess I like showing off sha.

Anyway, back to the gist. So I’m there and I hear the famous BBM tone indicating that I have received a message, so I maneuvered myself into my bbm chat menu only to find the words “PLEASE MARRY ME” dancing around from someone’s chat window. At first, I stared at it perplexed…thinking probably that person had mistakenly typed into my chat window. The message just has to be for someone else na, so I typed back “Wrong window...please retract”. The response I got next made me wonder if the person was as idly drunk as I was or was just looking for someone’s leg to pull.

So I asked him… “Oga…no vex…are you serious or are you just pulling my legs?”

He replied saying “of course not”…that he was serious. “Q...let’s get married na”

“On bbm?” I asked still perplexed.

“I want you to be my wife and the mother of my unborn kids”, he continued oblivious to the offense he had just committed.

“Wait! You are asking me this on BBM?’ I asked again, unable to believe that this was happening again.. …

In my mind, i'm like shit! Social media has turned our men into lazy daters o. There is no sacredness involved again…at all …at all

“Yes na” he answered and I placed my hands on my head exclaiming…

“I don suffer” as I roared into laughter.

This of course hasn’t been the first online proposal I’ve seen or received. In short, I’ve seen and gotten lots on different social media and I’m tempted to say yea, they are all spams but majority of them are from people I know personally and unfortunately, they were serious each time they made such ridiculous proposals online.  Worse, they expected me to go…

“Oh my God! He proposed to me…Oh my God! He proposed!” and then jump around my bedroom like I had won a lottery. So today, I walked up to my mirror and I looked at myself sternly again, this time, from head to toe. Probably there is a ‘mumu’ sign somewhere on my body that I didn’t know was there. I searched but I found nothing.

Call me old school but even though relationships should never be one sided, when it comes down to wooing…it is o. In this part of our world, it is the man’s propensity to woo and win over a woman’s heart…not the other way around. I read once in an article that just as the woman’s curse is to suffer pain in childbirth so is the man’s curse to work hard for whatever he gets and that includes a spouse. The harder he works for it…the more he cherishes it and does not take it for granted. So how do you expect a lady to take you seriously when all you do is ping her on bbm, whatsapp, facebook, badoo or whatever social media platform you both are patronizing. You replace phone calls for pings, visits for smileys, picnics for photo exchange and dates for sex chats and also make no other physical demonstration to prove to her how serious your intentions are. You want her to be the one to call you before she goes to bed, you want her to be the one to take the trips down to come spend the weekend with you, you want her to be the one to do all that you are supposed to be doing. Eh afterall, you are the one who needs to work and earn all the money.. You dont have the time...so all you do is chat, and call and text and tweet and post and tag.....Na wa o! I'm not saying the women don't have a role to play...far from it...Infact it is meant to be a twoway street. play your part and let her play hers. But then courtesy demands that when it comes to serious issues like love, proposal, heartfelt moments, put aside ur work for one night and do it properly...not online...Geezs!

Take the oga that just asked me for my hand in marriage online. He'd been asking me out since God knows when and I didn’t find him likeable then and I was supposed to now…because he wants to marry me on bbm?

Okay let’s say I say yes…what then? Will the wedding happen on bbm? Will our residence be on social media residence in Ikorodu or Garki here in Abuja? Will our children have their names as BBM, BADOO or Whatsapp? because truthfully, I really do not understand o.  The mere fact that he could not even extend the courtesy of sitting me down face to face to ask...said alot more about his person... which was just crap, crap, crap and crap!

It is already sad to know that couples rarely call themselves anymore because there is always BBM or WHATSAPP na, why waste money on calls. “Abeg na to just send her/him message jare”. Some even go as far as saying “after all, I spent two thousand naira to three thousand naira on subscription every month-that is for those using Android- or one thousand, five hundred naira for those using Black berry. Wooh! that should cover all the phone and text messages expenses jare”. There are even some, despite how urgent a message seems, rely on you to have subscribed your phone. They don’t care whether you have the means o. They will simply just type the message and then wait till they’ve seen the big “R” beside the said message instead of just calling. Oh how the value of a phone call has diminished significantly…God help us all!

Personally, I have no problem whatsoever with social media. As a matter of fact, they are extremely good for business- the ease of transaction with a click of a button. There are so many amazing apps that help one stay abreast of the changes in the world. There is even an app on my phone that helps me keep record of my period sef but that aside, are we supposed to substitute these for a beautiful dinner or a remarkable outing with friends and with people we love? It was a few days ago a friend of mine insisted that she could stake her life that love doesn’t exist anymore.


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