“I sincerely lay no claims to being more knowledgeable than anyone, for these are merely my perceptions about life and they are opened to debate and criticisms -please feel free to anytime. However I do believe I know better than I knew yesterday and many years before. The sincere purpose thus, is to be able to share my own thoughts and conceptions with the world in hopes that I would be able to bless and inspire someone out there and the world would be able to do the same for me; for knowledge is tyrannical unless it is shared. Enjoy!”
Hehehehe, I think I already know what’s going through your mind now if you are a movie freak like me ….so nah, this is not a movie script of Will Smith partnering up with a talking robot to save the world o…but thinking about it now, that wouldn’t be such a bad idea, you know,….saving the world!…..heehehehe.
Actually, I’ve been spiraling on how to begin this note…what exactly to write. You see, the thought is right there on my finger tip…I’m just ehemmm…looking for the right words to use….Arghhhh!!!!!! Okay I think I should rather begin with what happened.
So it was a chilly day and I was at the office…less busy and surfing aimlessly on Facebook or whatever site was catching my interest at that moment, when I noticed a pop up message on my facebook page from Mr This and That.
“Hey Q” he began
“Hi dearie” I replied “Whatsup?”
“Please can you swing by my place this weekend, I need your advice on something” … He typed on
“Ok” I responded and in my mind, it was like I had already gone to Pluto and Mars wondering what Mr this and that wanted my advice on because hey, this dude was like several years older than me and believe me, there was never an encounter with him that he failed to remind me of that: you know how old i am?..smallie like you.. when were you even born sef?... when we started doing things like that, they never even conceive the idea to born you sef...Old man like me?...shits like that. So what could possibly be the ish? I wondered warily. But then, I took a deep breath and reminded myself babe relax jor, go and advise your friend jare! …even though in my bones, it felt like a very bad idea.
So weekend came by, and I swung by. He had a nice apartment, but it was in a grave mess and being a perfectionist that I unfortunately am, I volunteered to help clean it up…Eh it is not a bad thing to help a friend na, so I put on my “good girl swag on”, carried broom and began to sweep. After I was done, I sat quietly and waited for Mr this and that to begin his gist and he gave me a brief history of his relationship. In my good girl mind, I felt privileged…
Ehen, so...Mr this and that is opening up to me like this….Chai!.. In that mind, I was already sipping coke, feeling like one ghen ghen person as I listened to my elder tell his dilemma. I still couldn’t believe he wanted my advice.
After his narration, I cleared my throat like one monthly paid lecturer and asked a few questions about the situation and Mr this and that proffered an answer which I nodded to in full understanding…Okay this was what I thought about the situation and I told him, but to my greatest surprise…Mr this and that begin insult me o.
“Eh you cannot use your own situation to compare mine…See it is not a new thing that you act like a robot…as if you are not human at all. Aha! What is your problem sef? The fact that you see it that way doesn’t mean it is what it is”.
I scratched my head and turned around to see if there was some other person behind me that he was talking to but when I couldn’t see anyone, because we were obviously the only two persons in the house, in my mind I went like…..
Eeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! See me see trouble o! Which one be the fact that I see things that way...doesn’t mean that they are what it is…Wooh! No b my advice you say you want? I halla-ed in my mind…but I sat there with mouth opened and tried to be patient.
“Look here Q…your situation isn’t the same as mine”
"I know that” I said calmly,
“I was simply using it as an instance” I lamented trying to defend myself.
“Mscheww!!!!!” he sighed.
“Oya sorry, no vex” I apologized as I stood up to leave. Eh, no be me carry myself come? Toh! It is only me that walka come o!
“You are leaving?” he asked looking confused.
“Ehen na” I said as I quietly picked up my purse o. Eh you know say, when you are no longer welcomed, you don’t need anybody to tell you. I got up quietly, straightened down my skirt and left but on my way home…I wept eh. I could not understand why a close buddy of mine would even for a moment compare me to a robot, I mean a robot o…Machinery kpa kpa!…those metal robotic things wey them construct to be doing manual work o…. Is that what I seem to everyone? I began to wonder.
When I started this platform, it occurred to me that when people read stuffs like this, sensitive issues like relationship, marriage,…the written words seem so easy…so unattached like “tah! What does she know? How could she possibly know what I’m going through” and there is “Eh na who wear shoe know where dey pain am” and there are “no two situations can be the same” True, true, true and true but the fact is, eighty percent of the time when we write these stuffs, they are usually situations we’ve experienced ourselves. It doesn’t mean we have never cried about it, or even hit our heads on the walls about it...It just simply means we’ve learnt from it and we are more objective about it than you who is experiencing it.
Okay, take for instance, you are advising a person. At that point, you don’t really feel the pain that person is going through, you can only relate to it, because you might have gone through something similar before but for you, the pain is no longer there, only the lesson, which unfortunately is all you can share. But the person seeking your opinion in most cases, isn’t truly interested in your advice… what actually they want is for you to share that pain with them which unfortunately you cannot share and there is the sudden transfer of aggression.
Honestly, I thought that would be the last time I would hear such a thing but I was wrong….
I met a dude. Ehmm, he was the perfect image of the kind of man any woman would want- Cute, older, classy, obviously intelligent, well to do, got a thriving business, would be relocating to Abuja in a month’s time- Everything seemed heavenly…until it hit me…
”Wooh! na kpokus oga want o!. For the benefit of those who don’t know what kpokus is, it means just sex. The dude just wanted a girl he would pass the time with throughout his stay in Abuja. Believe me, in this my age I have met different facets of men…In short I could write a whole dictionary of the different kind of men I have met but that’s some gist for another day….
So when I learnt what Oga wanted, I patiently made it clear to him that I was too decent and principled for that kind of lifestyle and the next response I got was…
“Q, you are too principled….what? Don’t you have feelings at all…Must you control every situation? Can’t you just let things flow…what is it?”
Oh boy! I shock! If you see the way I was holding my phone eh…You will think I had just seen Dracula himself shooting out his head to come and suck my blood.
“Ehhhhhhhhhh!” was what I thought….because I know what I want? Is it now a bad thing for a person to know what he or she wants?
It’s really unfortunate that a lot of women have let down their principles and values that a lot of men don’t seem to get it when they meet women with principles… They don’t understand it…In short, they don’t get it at all As in e dey be like slow motion trick for their eyes. Someone even went as far as to say “eh perhaps that is why she is still unmarried sef”hmmm maybe…but I will be damned if I let down my principles for anybody simply because they don’t get it. I believe that everyone in life was created for a purpose and I am of the opinion that when marriage comes, it will truly be a blessing for me and not some necessity but this doesn’t mean in any way that I am less human than anyone. I too have feelings, emotions, fears…I have had my own share of back-stabbings and betrayals and heartbreaks. I too have made thousands of mistakes but then I’ve also come to see the beauty of life, the joy of having someone to love….the relief to know that you are not just a passing phase in life…But that you are truly making an impact in the world in your own little way…I mean what could be more greater than that?. The fact that I choose to be optimist in all situations doesn’t mean I do not see the fear in them…
So in truth…I am not a robot at all…I’m really just like you…totally human and impossibly flawless.
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