MARRIAGE STILL WORKS

Written by Royal David Igbinedion

Nollywood super couple Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva recently renewed their wedding vows after 30 years of marriage. They are indeed a great example that love can be forever if we try. 
If as a spinster or a bachelor and some of your married friends sometimes share some of their unhappy experiences with you, and it makes you wonder if you'll ever want to get married, then this is for you. It's even worse when your friends' tales are similar to your parents marriage. 

Imagine a lady who grew up seeing her mum being abused, cheated on and molested. And now almost all her married friends are facing the same situation. Or as a young boy, your mum ran away with another man in the time of crisis and your dad managed to see you and your siblings through school, all by himself and now that you are a man you've not been able to trust ladies . You've probably seen some married women in places they shouldn't be, and in a compromising state too. You've seen married women dress like whores and now one of your married buddy is suspecting his wife and her boss and his suspicions are proving true. With all of these, this guy may just be out to play with ladies but never to marry any.

If you are in this position, you are not to be blamed but society. That you feel this way about, men, women or feel that marriage doesn't work, it's just your level of exposure, it doesn't make you a bad person. Once you are exposed to the truth and get it right, you'll be fine and be happily eager to get married like your other friends. 

So then what is the truth?

1. It's good to marry someone you love but its not a must that you love a person before you marry them, niether is it a criteria for a successful marriage. People in recent times marry for different purpose/motive other than love.

2. It's important and a must that you love who you are already married to whether or not you initially loved them before marriage. Loving, staying in love and friendship is a criteria at this stage for a successful marriage.

3. Even after marrying your friend or someone that you are attracted to, sometimes you guys will disagree, quarrel, raise your voices and probably not want to see each other's faces

4. But disagree to agree

5. Marriage is not an end in itself, its a means to a whole new self discovery as well as  knowing your partner better.

6. The introduction of children in your lives will change everything.

7. It's not always going to be a Romeo and Juliet ride, but you can make up your mind to make it so with determination, understanding and forgiveness.

8. You are different from your parents and friends, write your own story and don't allow negative history repeat itself. 

The ignorance of these truth is probably some of the reasons many home breakup especially Hollywood celebrity styled homes. My dear friends marriage still works, you may not have seen any and that is because you have not been opportuned to but like Olu Jacobs and the wife of his youth Joke Silva, you too can decide to make yours work in the midst of contrary thoughts and realities.