“I sincerely lay no claims to being more knowledgeable than anyone, for these are merely my perceptions about life and they are opened to debate and criticisms -please feel free to anytime. However I do believe I know better than I knew yesterday and many years before. The sincere purpose is to be able to bless someone out there for knowledge is tyrannical unless it is shared. Enjoy!”
So I was just getting into my apartment when I heard my phone ring. I have this ridiculously big black handbag that is so humongous that even a human head can get lost inside of it. Why we women carry such things is what I myself cannot understand. Come and see the way I was savagely searching for my phone inside the bag eh….I literally had to take out almost all the content inside it to finally pull out the phone but by then I had missed the call like twice. Anyway, when it rang again, I picked the call almost immediately, ignoring the fact that I didn’t recognize the number on the caller id.
“Hello?” I called into the phone, panting like I had just ran a hundred meters race.
“Q baby!” was the response I got and the voice sounded familiar.
“Ehemm..i’m sorry who is this please?’ I asked pulling my protector frame to its hinge and searching around for the padlock I was just holding like five seconds ago.
“So by now you don’t know my voice, abi?” The voice asked sounding offended. In my mind, I was like Eeeeeeeeeee…must I recognize everybody’s voice? But I didn’t say anything. I just held the phone to my ear.
“Hello?” the voice called again.
“Eh I’m here” I answered spotting the padlock among the contents from my bag on the floor.
“So how are you?” the voice asked and a scowl embraced my face because I couldn’t understand the question…shey our parents say make we no talk to strangers ba?
“Please oga…I don’t know who I’m speaking with o.. Biko na, tell me” I pleaded, picking up the padlock.
“It’s Stanley” the voice answered and I could hear the grin in it. I think he was expecting that his name would ring BANGAN! in my head but ehemm…
“Ehen… Please which Stanley?” I asked confused… I knew so many Stanleys. More than I can count sef. Even though the voice sounded very familiar, I didn’t think I could place it among the Stanleys I could remember at the moment. I started to hate this my long-term memory problem but what I got next was a long mchewwwwwwwwww!.
“ Haba Q, what is your problem, you don’t know Stanley again? First you couldn’t recognize my sweet voice…How many men do you know have my kind of voice? How many Stanleys do you even know sef that you cannot even remember me?”
Ha! My mind went but i then remembered that January this year God and I made a pact, that I’m going to work on my impatience...so wooh I must be patient with this oga o, i reasoned as I ignored my scattered items on the floor and sat on my chair in my room to pay rapt attention to the call.
“Ehemm,..i know a lot of Stanleys oga and because they are men too…they have deep husky voices like yours which is probably why I cannot differentiate yours from theirs” I explained as gently as I could.
“Nice try!” he answered sarcastically “you don’t have to play smart with me. It’s me… Stanley this this”
And I went “oooooohhhhhhhhh! Stanley...long time o” as my brain finally recalled who he was. He was a very old friend way back in my first year in school. As a matter of fact, He was asking me out back then and every time I decided to give his proposal some thought...Stanley would disappear and then reappear as if he never left before. I couldn’t understand it then and I still couldn’t understand it now.
“Now you remember me abi? So how are you? I’ve been seeing your beautiful pictures on facebook o...looking all sexy and interesting” He flattered.
“Oh…thanks” I blushed getting up to rearrange my things.
“So…When am I going to see you na? I came to Abuja to see you o” he announced.
“Ehen? Because?” I asked picking up my bag and setting it on my table and wondering if I ever made a Facebook status update that I was ill or something…
“Because I want to see you na. Let’s pick up where we left off na” he continued and in my mind, I’m like “Eh?!”
Okay, let’s pause there for a bit.
It is no news that in this journey we call life, we meet all sorts of people. In short, I’m sure if we were given a full-scalp sheet to write out the names of people we’ve met, associated with or even spoken to in all our life time, it would require more than one full scalp sheet. But then there are certain people who for some reason or the other walk out of our lives... be it acquaintances, friends, exes and so on and never return. There are however some, who just enjoy the dubiety of coming and going and those are the kind of people I seriously have a problem with. You may wonder; what are the parameters for calculating this ‘coming and going’ sef? I mean, there are people on your list that you barely even chat with; all you know is that, they are just there. They see your statues, your comments, your picture updates, and your broadcast messages on social medias but never chat with you or call or text or comment or poke or ping or do Whatsapp with you…but at least you know they are there. So my own parameters for estimating the coming and going is when these people don’t call or text or send messages, or tweet or ping or comment for a year. To me…they are not just there at all, as a matter of fact, they’ve become total strangers to me. So even though they are on my friend list for a decade and had chatted with me several years ago and haven’t said a word to me since then, in whatever way humanly possible…wooh I really don’t know you again o!
So Mr. Stanley fell in that unfortunate category. We hadn’t spoken in years. And the last time we did speak, he wanted me to be the love of his life. He went through most of the wooing procedures and stages: calling, texting, walk in the park, first kiss attempt and I genuinely started to fall for him. Alright, say I agreed to date him then, was this how the relationship would have been? On and off?
Anyway, I sat and listened to him explain how he was truly in love with me and could not handle the fact that I was not loving him back. So he had to move on na…
“Toh! Shey you have moved on now na?” I asked getting up from the chair that I’ve been sitting for over thirty minutes.
“Yea I did but Q, I couldn’t find any woman like you jawe” He continued.
I rolled my eyes for the fifth time.
“What are you doing…come and see me na” He continued.
“Aww sorry love, I’ve got lots of stuffs to do” I answered now standing over my sewing machine and looking down at the fabric I was supposed to be working on.
“Leave those things jor. Forget them for now…meet me at that hotel behind the NNPC filling station in this and that street” He continued oblivious to the ‘show?’ on my face.
And in my mind, I was thinking hmm?…so na so eh?
It’s funny how when these people manage to find their way back to your life, they expect that you probably haven’t moved on yourself, hell that you had kept your life on hold for them; you have absolutely nothing else to do. If you had been leaving out thirty minutes of your time with them before, you probably should have let that time of your life blank, in wait for them. Like probably in their minds, they had said “Eh let me go and check out what sup with the other ladies/guys jawe, I go come back if nothing click”
These are the kind of people my friend calls ‘Gbomo’ Correct Time wasters!” They no dey add nutrient for person body”
I honestly do not know what goes on in the lives of people but I do know however that nobody is anybody’s passing time. If you truly love someone and truly care for that person, no matter what circumstances you find yourself, you owe it just this bit, tikele-as Birnin people would say- to be in that person’s life. If not as a lover but as a friend because you can never tell how life would play out, for no one knows tomorrow…
Ciao!
Written by Quincy Iwediokpulu
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