Ok Late post- Sincerely Q....hahaha Q I stole this one but a girl is got to do what a girl's got to do. Enjoy reading. *wink*
So it was like several months after my friend’s wedding when all the photos and videos of the wedding were flowing in like water that I finally decided to ask her. I was prompted to do so mostly because…eh…I couldn’t get it. The smiles and grins in the photos were damned too authentic (just too good to be true) and because I knew her well especially the challenges and temptation that I knew she faced, I truly couldn’t get it. I mean…how the hell did she know? How in God’s name did she know he was the one for her?“You will just know” she said grinning sheepishly, “Q when you meet that special one for you, you will just know” and then, there were like three expressions of exasperation going over each other in my mind. The first expression was ehemmm ok?( like babe are you sure? And then…..ehen? (like, is this information correct at all?) and finally….yeah right! (abeg I no believe you jawe!). At that moment I wasn’t particularly sure which would win though so I simply just pouted and stared passed her totally unimpressed by the response. It was as if I was watching a Walt Disney animation movie where the queen advises her daughter to “follow her heart”.#scoffs Really? To me, it just wasn’t a good enough answer abeg or am I the only one who thinks that?
Okay, how about we play out these three scenarios in our minds;
1995- I met Mr. A…it was a romantic experience. I was blown out of my mind and I knew he was the one… but nope…it didn’t work out.
2006- Mr B took me to the moon and back and after several months of getting to know one another, I realized I had found the one for me but nope again, still didn’t work out.
2014-against all odds, I loved Mr C beyond words and the things I could do for him…oh I knew he was going to be my husband …and then oh well I guess you know the rest.You get the drift now?
In each scenario there was a knowing and a following of heart, yet ọ bụghị na-arụ ọrụ!. I was starting to think my friend was lying…menh, she just had to be lying until I spoke with a friend of mine that used to be a player…Otiwo’s marriage had come like a blow. I got into the office one day, turned on my system, logged on to facebook and then gboah!!!!!!!….pictures everywhere!“Shit!” I lamented, “Otiwo don marry o! How come? I wondered warily as I looked from one picture to another.“So how did you know she was the one?” I finally asked him after I had gotten over the shocking experience. Menh! It had to take me two years to get over the shock…“I had a chat with a friend one day” I told him “he said that guys usually know if they are going to marry the person they are dating or not. He also said that most times, they can tell almost immediately even on the first day they meet her”“Hmmm” he shuttered “perhaps…I think it depends on the man’s mind and level of stability at the time he met her. Like for me, I took me six years after I met my wife-You know, we dated for eight years na; I met her when she was nineteen- before I knew she was the one I wanted to marry” he explained.“So I knew the flings I was having or planned to have afterwards would lead to nothing” he continued and I was speechless.
Thank God o I asserted to myself after our chat ended, so this is how I would have landed on my ass if I had believed Otiwo and jumped into his arms eh. Yeah, I was one of the babes he tried to play back in the day but by the special grace of God did not fall for his charm. I just somehow knew that, menh this dude might be playing me o and well, you can see for yourself. My guts were right! Hmmm… God is good o!. So, abeg my sisters and brothers, always listen to your guts o, there are men/women out there looking for Isi-ewu to chop and then clean mouth…you berra shine ya eyes wella…
Anyway back to the gist, it has also come to my notice that there is another famous way that our brothers from the other side, that is, our brothers in the Lord have chosen to follow and exploit, for their own consumption- Spiritual knowing. This is the one our pastors usually encourage us to seek before marriage because according to them, this thing called marriage my brothers and sisters is a very serious matter, so who can be surer if not God? My question exactly! But then, you’ll find these our brothers seeing visions of us without us. Ayear ago, I had this bold declaration or you can call it New Year resolution if you like about being single for a year. To me, it was more solid than saying a few words of resolve and then breaking them in the next week. I had post its, phone reminders and supportive friends to back me up only for a pastor to waddle into my apartment one crazy hot afternoon to make a counter declaration saying: “the Lord says it is okay for you to be my wife”And I’m like oh! Nsogbu!, it has happened! m na-anụ! My second reaction had been to stare pass the pastor in confusion. The first thought that had crossed my mind was how could God reveal such significant information about me and my own future to you alone and not to me as well? I don’t remember my God to be a God of partiality o or a God of confusion for that matter…abi is it not my body which serves as His temple and my soul that He owns that you pastor want to come and enjoy? Don’t I get a say at all in the matter?”For some alarming reason, Oga pastor had expected that I would jump at the offer and get married to him probably because he came under the anointing, okay o! But I knew better. This however is the reason I always encourage people to have a personal relationship with God because when you do, you would always be able to tell what pronouncement is God’s or what isn’t. I didn’t need anyone to tell me what this was… It was clear like pure water.I still don’t know if there is a way for someone to know who God has chosen for them but I do know that for a relationship to work, it requires the devotion of both parties- their willingness and commitment to see it to that wonderful institution called marriage. It however doesn’t mean that they would not encounter challenges on their way. Even those individuals that have had spiritual declarations about who they should be with or even those that seemed to have the ability to just know like my friend, still encounter problems but it is their trust and devotion that led them all to the altar….
So that’s my take guys, what do you think? Do you think there is definitely some sort of way to tell? Please, if you do, kindly share. If you are already married, kindly tell us how you knew that your spouse was the right person for you, I’m sure a lot of us would love to know. Did you take a guess or settle like most people do these days or did you have some sort of revelation or was it just lovvvvvvvveeeeeeeee? Did it come as a spark or as a shiver?…. …Please do tell us o.
Written by Iwediokpulu Quincy
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